(unpublished translation)

'Why did you want to throw my things into the sea?' you asked. It was a clear night with a full moon. The light through the open window shone in your eyes. Before dawn on the saltmarshes some sheep were braying.

I had seen you talk like this before in your sleep, with your eyes open and yet still in a dream. I looked into your eyes and said, "That's right, my love, sleep now.'

'What about my things?' you said.

'What things, exactly?' I asked. I did not know whether you were asleep or not by now.

'All my things,' you said, still staring past me into the eye of the moon. The dawn was starting to climb the partition. 'My wellingtons, my jacket and my sandwiches, they all got thrown by you into the sea.' Your voice was distant. 'It was your idea to go down to the sea. We were in among the sand dunes and were supposed to have an afternoon pic-nic by the sea. I was already barefoot, I'd put the sandwiches in one wellington and my jacket over the other. And then you took them up and threw them all into the sea. You thought it was so funny, probably. You were laughing anyway, and telling me to go and get them from out of the sea.

'Why did you want to keep your sandwiches in your sea boots?' I asked, thinking that it was a strange place to keep food. I was trying to think of the last time we had been down to the beach.

'Where'nt they all wrapped nicely against the sand? And it was you who wanted to eat on the beach, wasn't it? I'd made us a few sanwiches, I'd wrapped them in greaseproof paper. They were my provisions, they were our provisions, and there you went and threw them all into the sea. That left us with nothing to share.'

'So what did you do then?'

'What else but go get my things from out of the water? And what did I get but a huge wave coming up in front of me and over my head. I managed to jump the next one or I would have been drowned for sure. But they were all coming at me now and carrying me out of reach of you before passing over and under me and rushing on beyond me towards the beach were we were sitting and sending spray over dunes so far away that I could not reach out for you there anymore. Then I saw you standing on the dunes with your right hand shading your brow and your mouth smiling as you turned your back on me. You went back down to the salt marsh and your feet still dry and my feet sliping down into the dungeon of the sea.

'So did you get out of the water, then, in your dream?'

'Yes, or I wouldn't be here now, would I, obviously. And no thanks to you for that is it? I don't know how I made it, the current was tugging me out towards the ocean and I couldn't fight any more. I saw the black rock cliffs and the sharp rocks beneath them swollen with seaweed. The moon was still and yellow on the water. I felt it's pull on me, its attraction, I was tired, I wanted to slip back into arms of seaweed and the sea's embrace. I did not want to resist. All that kicking and biting had taken it's toll on me. I wanted peace. The water was warm like blood around me. I watched fizzy bubbles rise past me. It was good to let go and slide under. Until I felt the floor rise under my feet and sharp shells and seaweed on the rocks. I raised my head and saw the cliff and the path past the dunes. There were no sea boots, not coat and no sandwiches.'

'You must have been pretty pissed off with me by now?' I was looking through the open window towards the path of the moon that was still just discernible on the big grey sea.

'With you?' Your voice was flat. 'There was nothing left to be pissed off with. You didn't care, obviously. You'd thrown all my things into the sea and laughed about it and walked away. I was not angry with you. I was angry with myself for believing in you. I was pissed off too that I had to walk barefoot over sharp rocks and I was pissed off that I was having to look for you, once again. And do you know why? Why I had to find you? I wanted you to know what finally you had done. I walked the street of seaside towns, I walked past plastic bucket shops and yellow spades, past inflatibles and summer English, over the harbour bridge towards Pen Cei asking everyone I knew had they seen you. Honey on the fingers of many, probably. Making a spectacle of myself as I was with no shoes or socks and sand in my hair.

'And the only thing I remember then is the night coming as I was still looking for you. When I got back here eventually it was so late you were snoring away on your back in the middle of the bed. You could not even wake up when I slapped you cheek and askey you 'Why?'. But you are awake now, my steadfast love, so tell me now why did you want to throw all my things into the sea?'

I remember trying to explain that I was sorry, that it was a terrible thing to do, of course it was, but that this was a dream only, that nothing terrible had really happened.

'Come now,' I said 'The sun is nearly up. Dreams belong to the night. It's time to forget this stupidity about throwing all your things into the sea.' My voice was hoarse, my head hurt and I neeeded coffee. I got out of bed to make us both a cup of coffee. And I went to fetch your sea boots from the stairwell cupboard, and your jacket from the waredrobe so that you could see that I was telling the truth.

But when I searched in the stairwell cupboard your sea boots were not there and your jacket was not in the waredrobe either. You were still laying on the bed. I put the tray with breakfast on it on the bed by your side. I bent over it to kiss you. Your lips were cold. As I raised my head I noticed the grains of sand winking like stars in your hair.

(unpublished translation)

The sign outside said Reptiles Welcome so in I went.

'Allright, son?' said the man behind the desk, putting down his tabloid and picking up his cigarette, 'what d'you want then?'

'Why isn't the sign outside in Welsh?' I asked.

'Oh, I see,' said the man. 'One of those, are you? Bloody Welsh Nash. I don't want your type in here. Anyway, what is reptile in Welsh then?'

'Ymlusgiad is the official word,' I explained. 'However it is not ideal. I prefer to be referred to as an 'anifail ymlusgo' as this is more politically correct and sounds better.'

'You and you big Welsh,' said the man. 'It'll be sudd oren a chreision you'll be wanting next, no doubt. Bloody cranks the lot of you. What kind of anifail ymlusgo are you, anyway?'

'Oh, an armadillo,' I blurted out blushing deeply at having forgotten to introduce myself properly. I had been taught that it was essential to introduce yourself to people and here was I having forgotten to do so. I was shy, of course, and unsure of myself, this being the first time I had been in a hotel and everything being new to me. I was afraid of doing something wrong in such a grand place, especially the first time, as you wouldn't want to show yourself up in front of strangers, would you? It was not really such a grand place, come to think of it, but I didn't know that at the time.

'If you're a bloody armadillo you can't be a reptile,' shouted the man.

'I beg your pardon?' I gasped.

'I don't want bloody rain forest animals in here,' ha reptile,' shouted the man.

'I beg your pardon?' I gasped.

'I don't want bloody rain forest animals in here,' he continued. 'Do you think I can't tell a reptile when I see one? What the hell do I pay my taxes for if every bimbo headed bloody animal is going to waltz in here complaining about my signs and pretending to be a reptile? Chester Zoo is the place for you, mate, now bugger off!'

'Well, I'm very sorry,' I said, because I was actually sorry as I had always assumed that I was a reptile, I wasn't trying to con the man. I had been taught this every day in my cage by the flexible missionaries since the day they tore me from my mother's arms back then. Do you know, this was actually the first time I learnt that I wasn't a reptile after all, and it gave me quite a shock, I can tell you. 'May I have a glass of water, please, sir?' I asked. 'I'm not feeling terribly well.' Well, I got that much from him and was allowed to sit down for a minute and after that I felt better and managed to explain the situation to the proprietor and he calmed down and actually became quite friendly.

'Let's have a pint,' he said. 'Come on, I'm an alcoholic.'

'Well, all right then,' I said. 'Twist my arm.' I suppose I was trying to show off to make him think I was quite used to all this. I laughed nonchalantly as I swaggered up to the bar. However it is actually not easy to laugh nonchalantly with such nchalantly with such a tiny mouth and its rather hard to swagger up to the bar with a heavy carapace on your back and six inch legs. Anyway, I managed to carry it off and actually quite liked the beer, it was Felinfoel best bitter if I remember rightly. We had a couple of pints and then a couple more - you know how it is - and by the time the locals came in that evening we were dancing on the pool table. Of course the customers thought it was great fun. It was the first time many of them had ever seen an armadillo not to mention get to meet one and buy her a pint. You'll admit I rather a good specimen of my species, that's no doubt why they liked me, and I must admit that other armadillos in the zoo used to call me sexy. Well, listen, round about closing time the guy who owned the place asked me to go to bed with him. He said his wife would not be back for ages and that it didn't matter about her anyway, the good for nothing old tart smoking her fags in the bed and eating her chips in the bath and anyway he hated her guts and she didn't like him very much either so what did it matter to anyone that he fancied a reptile?

'But you said I wasn't a reptile,' I insisted, being a bit tipsy and anyway if I wasn't really a reptile I didn't want anyone to think I was one. 'I'm an animal and I don't stink a great deal.'

'All right then, darlin,' he said in a kind voice. 'Just one more round and we'll go upstairs.'we'll go upstairs.'

'I don't know how to do it,' I admitted because it was true.

'What, how to go upstairs?'

'No, not that,' I said shyly. I'd never been with a big hairy beer bellied man before. I didn't know what to expect. I mean you don't exactly get any sex education in the zoo, you know. I think that's why the zoo is such a poor place to rear little animals, and of course when you're stuck in a cage all day you're too depressed to bonk. I'd been with some of the spider monkeys but they were bloody hopeless. Anyway this one was much bigger than any monkeys I'd ever seen. So there I was in his bedroom, and I burrowed under his dirty sheets - I'm sure my shell made a lump under the bedclothes, but there you are, an armadillo can't take of her shell, she's stuck with it. Anyhow, shell or no shell I think Walter was quite attracted to me - sorry, didn't I say? Walter Harris - you probably know of him - I think Walter found me attractive because when he came upstairs he certainly seemed pleased to see me.

'Walter,' I said in a sweet little voice, 'Walter be gentle with me...'

'Eff off, tortoise,' said Walter and immediately started snoring like a steam engine. When I looked at him then I suddenly realised how horrible he was, what with his stained T-shirt and his huge belly like a jellyfish and his greasy hair and his brown teeth and I thought ych-a-fi, what a disgusting man, I don't want him as a fiancé. I nestled up to him so that I could burrow my snout into his pants until I got hold of his worm with my sharp little teeth and then tore it to shreds in seconds as if it was nothing but an earthworm and the pig didn't even wake up at first and I was long gone out the back before I heard him scream. I've been in hiding ever since, of course, because the zoo want me back and Walter has given them a pile of money to try and catch me but they'll never get me 'cos I'm too cute for them.

By the way, I was over near Walter's hotel recently, you know. I was passing through, thought I'd have a look at the place for old time's sake. Nothing much had changed. It still needed a coat of paint, there was still nothing but weeds in the flower-pots, still no cars in the car park other than some clapped out jalopy with flat tyres. Still the same sign outside, still only in English, shame on him, even though the wording had been changed to read, "No bloody reptiles."

The Sea is Full

Other translations:

An English translation of Amser y Gwcw yw Ebrill a Mai was published under the title The Cuckoo’s Time is April and May in A White Afternoon. New Welsh Short Fiction. Selected and translated by Meic Stephens. Parthian Books, Cardiff 1998. ISBN 1-902638 00-X.

A German translation of the same story was published under the title Der Kuckuck kommt im April und Mai in Tee mit der Königin. Kurzgeschichten aus Wales. Frank Meyer und Angharad Price. Cambria verlaag, Hildesheim, 1996. ISBN 3 –00-000821-7.

A French translation of Cyfraniad at Gofiant yr Hybarch Frawd Stotig Isgis was published under the title Contribution à l’hagiographie du vénérable frère Stotig Isgis in Quelques Nouvelles du Pays de Galles. Carys Lewis et Jean-Yves le Disez, Éditions Terre de Brume, 1999. ISBN 2-84362-034-1